


Voicing Thoughts

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Mpreg, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3586926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "First Thought", in which John finds out he's pregnant: Rodney is worried since John voluntarily going to the infirmary can only mean the worst...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Voicing Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArwenOak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenOak/gifts).
  * Inspired by [First Thought](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1273507) by [velocitygrass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass). 



> Inspired by ArwenOak's comment, specifically how John's thought would affect Rodney's insecurity about their relationship.

Rodney was anxious to get back to Atlantis. He wanted to start working on the devices they'd managed to extract from the ruins, and the minions were testing his patience. And there was the matter of John going to the infirmary—voluntarily!

As they packed everything they didn't want to leave and secured the rest, it was the latter that kept coming back to him. John might have said he didn't really feel sick, but the truth of the matter was that he wouldn't get it checked if he didn't think it could be a problem. And Rodney's imagination could provide hundreds of scenarios in which a harmless sounding illness suddenly turned deadly.

In a worst case scenario it could turn out to be a slow killer with a long time of infection, which had already spread to all of Atlantis and from there through the Pegasus Galaxy and the Milky Way. Admittedly the end of two galaxies was an extreme case, but a less severe worst scenario could still leave _John_ dead and that wouldn't be a lot better.

In fact if it was a disease that spread, Rodney would likely not have a long time to live with the grief, whereas if only John died... Rodney tried not to think about that. He'd gotten comfortable with having John around. Though of course it was much more than being comfortable with it and it wasn't just hanging out. But thinking too closely about their relationship was something else that Rodney avoided because whenever he did he ended up wondering how this could have happened.

How could a guy like John—smart, ridiculously hot, with geeky tendencies, not to mention stamina, flexibility, and a nice big dick—pick Rodney? Sure, Rodney was smarter than...anyone else, but experience had shown that his other qualities (or lack thereof) were enough to eventually drive off anyone who had an interest in him. But John didn't. He _loved_ Rodney, had apparently loved him for quite a while, but Rodney sometimes had the irrational fear that John would one day wake up and realize that Rodney was really a selfish asshole and that he could do so much better.

It was a horrible thought, and Rodney didn't know if it would be comforting if John died before he could have such a realization or if it would be heartbreaking to lose him so soon. Actually, he did know. It would be devastating to lose John. Rodney could deal with his paranoia, but having something so perfect ripped from him so soon after he'd found it would be unbearable.

God, he hoped John wouldn't die. At least any time soon.

But something had to be up. There was no way John would go to Jennifer for something trivial that turned out to be nothing. So the question was what was it. Was it dangerous? Would he recover? How long would it take? How bad could it get?

By the time they made it back through the gate, Rodney had worried himself into a state, and it took every effort not to contact John as soon as he set foot on Atlantis. He went through the post-mission briefing and the check in the infirmary, where Jennifer was nowhere to be seen. Was John in such critical condition that she had to stay with him?

Though someone would have mentioned that to him. After leaving the infirmary, he gave up on pretending that he wasn't panicking and went to look for John. He found him in their room, which was a bit unusual at this time of day.

"Rodney, you're back." John set down his comic and smiled at Rodney.

"What did Jennifer say?" Rodney asked, unable to wait any longer for an answer.

The smile slipped from John's face. "Why don't you sit down," he suggested.

"Oh god," Rodney said, starting to pace. "How bad is it? You're not _dying_ , are you?"

"No," John said. "Well, yes, but hopefully not in the near future and not from this."

"This?" Rodney asked.

John got up and put his hands on Rodney's arms, stopping him. "I think you should sit down."

"Just spit it out!" Rodney said.

"Okay," John said, exhaling. "But I should tell you that Keller doesn't know yet how it happened and why."

"John!"

"I'm...pregnant," John said.

Some part of Rodney registered that John wasn't sick and not dying. The other part could only think, "What the fuck?!" What he said out loud was, "But you're a guy."

"Yes, thank you for pointing that out," John said dryly.

"How is this possible?" Rodney asked.

"I just told you we don't know," John said.

"But— Wait. You're pregnant. With _our_ baby?" Rodney only just realized what this would mean if it was in fact not a prank and not a dream.

"Yes," John said quietly. "Our baby."

"Oh god. We're— I mean—" Rodney took a deep breath. "Do you want to keep it?" He wanted this so badly, but it was John's decision.

"Uhm," John said. "We should probably talk about... But yes, I'd like to... I _want_ to have this baby."

"Really?" Rodney asked, nearly collapsing in relief.

"Yes," John said, smiling again. "Yes, I do. It's _our_ baby." He cupped Rodney's face and pulled him into a kiss.

Rodney kissed back, completely overwhelmed with emotion. They were going to have a baby. It would change their lives in ways that he couldn't fully predict yet, but the idea of raising a child with John, a smart and geeky little kid, then teenager, then finally someone who could prove their brilliance to the world.

They'd grow old together.

"John," Rodney said, suddenly realizing the commitment they were both making. "You..." He wasn't sure how to ask what he needed to know. And maybe the fact that John wanted this baby was the answer. "Did you always want children?" They'd never talked about this.

"I used to want them in an abstract way," John said. "Having a happy family and all that." It sounded bittersweet.

"So now you get the chance," Rodney said thoughtfully.

"It's not just a baby," John said, taking Rodney's hands.

Rodney frowned. "It'll grow up into an adult. I know that."

John snorted. "That too, but what I meant was...it's _your_ baby."

Rodney stared at John. John didn't just want _a_ baby. He wanted _Rodney's_ baby. Or at least the fact that it _was_ Rodney's baby made it better.

"Are you...?" John began. "I mean we'll have to get used to it, and it'll be weird to have this growing inside of me and being a man and all that, but...you're happy about this too?"

Rodney wanted to wipe away the doubt in John's voice. "I'm happy. I don't think I can express how much right now. I can't believe that this happened and that you... You want this baby and you want _me_ and you want this baby because it's mine. Obviously not _just_ because of that, but it's..."

"It's the first thing I thought when Keller told me," John said in wonder. "Not how this could be or what would happen. I just thought, 'I'm going to have Rodney's baby.'"

Rodney saw the joy and love in John's eyes, and it was so much that he pulled John into his arms for a moment to pull himself together. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," John said. He pulled back to look at Rodney. "You _knew_ that, didn't you?"

Rodney opened his mouth, but for a moment nothing came out. "Yes," he eventually said, but knowing intellectually and rationally concluding that someone was probably telling the truth were not the same as feeling and knowing it in your heart. "But now I _believe_ it."

"You better believe it!" John said, gripping Rodney's head for a moment and giving him another deep kiss.

"I do, I do," Rodney said when John let him go. "No need to get violent."

Predictably, John gave the back of his head a little slap for that comment. Then he cupped Rodney's face and stroked his cheek with his thumb. "I still can't believe how lucky I am."

Rodney gasped. "That's—"

"How you feel?" John asked with a smile.

"I wasn't ever going to admit it, but since you said it first," Rodney said.

John laughed. "We're both very lucky."

Rodney nodded. "And think how lucky our child will be."

John nodded in return. "And happy. I want us to be happy." His voice was so full of yearning it nearly brought tears to Rodney's eyes.

"Yes," he agreed. He wanted that too. And now more than ever he thought they had a chance.

Their future had never been so bright.


End file.
